I Never Thought I'd Be On A Boat

Vol I. Episode 1

 

            Then it happened in the spring, at the time when kings go out to battle, that Crawford sent Jenkins and his servantgs with him and all of East 21(Isreal) and they destroyed the sons of D8RM and besieged main campus but Crawford stayed in East 21.

            Now when evening came, Crawford arose from his bed and walked around the roof of the king's house, and form the roof he saw a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful in appearance.

            So Crawford sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, "Is that not Danny Lamont, the daughter of East 22, 23, and 24 and the good friend of Carlos Colone?"

            Crawford sent messengers and took her, and when she came to him, he lay with her; and when she had purified herself form her uncleanness, she returned to her house.

            The woman concieved; and she sent and told Crawford and said,  "I am pregnant."

            Then Crawford sent to Jenkins, saying, "Send me Carlos Colone." So Jenkins sent Carlos to Carawford

            When Carlos came to him, Crawford asked concerning the welfare of Jenkins and the people and the state of the war.

            Then Crawford said to Carlos, "Go down to your house and wash your feet." And Carlos went out of the king's house, and a present from the king was sent out after him.

            But Carlos slept at the door of the king's house with all the servantsof his lord, and did not go down to his house.

            Now when they told Crawford saying, "Carlos did not go down to his house," Crawford said to Carlos, "Have you not come from a journey? Why did you not go down to your house?"

            Carlos said to Crawford, " The ark and East 21(Israel) and East 20(Judah) are staying in temporary shelters, and Jenkins and his servants are camping in the field. Shall I then go to my house to eat and drink and have a party with my good friend? By your life and the life of your soul, I will not do this thing."

            Then Crawford said to Carlos, "Stay here today also, and tomorrow I will let you go." So Carlos remained in Jerusalem that day and the next.

Now Crawford called him, and he ate and drank before him, and he made him drunk; and in the evening he went out to lie on his bed with his lord's servants, but he did not go down to his house.

Now in the morning Crawford wrote a letter to Jenkins and sent it by the hand of Carlos.

He had written in the letter, saying, "Place Carlos in the front line of the fiercest battle and withdraw from him, so that he may be struck down and die."

So it was as Jenkins kept watch on the city, that he put Carlos at the place where he knew there were valiant men.

The men of the city went out and fought against Jenkins, and some of the people among Crawford's servants fell; and Carlos the Hittite also died.

Then Jenkins sent and reported to Crawford all the events of the war.

The messenger said to Crawford, "The men prevailed against us and came out against us in the field, but we pressed them as far as the entrance of the gate.

"Moreover, the archers shot at your servants from the wall; so some of the king's servants are dead, and your servant Carlos the Hittite is also dead."

Then Crawford said to the messenger, "Thus you shall say to Jenkins, 'Do not let this thing displease you, for the sword devours one as well as another; make your battle against the city stronger and overthrow it'; and so encourage him."

Now when the good friend of Carlos heard that Carlos her good friend was dead, she mourned for her husband.

When the time of mourning was over, Crawford sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife; then she bore him a son But the thing that Crawford had done was evil in the sight of the LORD.

To Be Continued....

And Today I Say YAY!

Hello blogging nation. This is your captain speaking. Please return to your seats, make sure all over head compartments are secured and fasten your seat belts because we are in for a bumpy ride.

 

 Over the past two weeks.....no two months.....well two years. Ever since I first set foot on campus of Liberty University, I noticed something uniquely different about this place. Stretching from the depths of the pit and dorm 33, to the far north at TRBC, and even to the high mountains that is east campus there is a strange and mysterious thing on this campus.  No matter where I went, I couldn't escape it. It would be walking down the road, eating at the ROT, sitting in the classrooms of demos. Even when I could escape back to the dorm, it would come knocking on the window. This unbearable thing was romping all over the campus, destroying the lives of college students, and leaving a trail of bloodshed behind it. Every so often, a few strong and courageous men (or either complete retards) would venture out of the safety of their “nest” to try to tame the beast that had been devouring or souls. No matter the strategy, whether it was dinner and a movie, a hike to the monogram, a day at the park, or even t he exchanging of the sacred “promise rings”, the end result was usually the same. The guy…I mean valiant hero, would be innocently sitting in their car with her…I mean IT, thinking that everything was going fine. I mean hey, they were doing the ring thing now. How much better could it get? When all of the sudden it would look at him with the evilest look a guy has ever known, and would suck the soul right out of him. She did this by saying….”I think we should just be friends”, or “how about we take a break”, or the worst of them all, “I feel like God is calling us in different directions and because Clayton….. I mean God is in fact God we should listen to Him”. Many a good man has perished trying to conquer the beast of Liberty Mountain and a lot more are being baited and trapped as we speak.   

 

Now my friends, it is time for us to take action against this force that is rising up against the mighty men of Liberty. We must hold strong to the core beliefs that were instilled in us by our fathers who have conquered the beast so many times before us (I mean the reason you are here is from your father “conquering”). No more shall we be pushed around by schemes of the devil. No more shall we sit by and watch our friends be cast in to the fiery pit of destruction. No more shall we let its beautiful eyes, perfect figure, and sensual ways brainwash our minds. No more shall we suffer through hours of awkward outings with guys who want to look cool in front of felici….ummm IT.  We must be strong, and we must fight this beast together.

 

Today I leave you with a little message from my dear friend Timothy. ¹¹ Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. ¹² And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. ¹³ For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴ And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.