Hello blogging nation. This is your captain speaking. Please return to your seats, make sure all over head compartments are secured and fasten your seat belts because we are in for a bumpy ride.
Over the past two weeks.....no two months.....well two years. Ever since I first set foot on campus of Liberty University, I noticed something uniquely different about this place. Stretching from the depths of the pit and dorm 33, to the far north at TRBC, and even to the high mountains that is east campus there is a strange and mysterious thing on this campus. No matter where I went, I couldn't escape it. It would be walking down the road, eating at the ROT, sitting in the classrooms of demos. Even when I could escape back to the dorm, it would come knocking on the window. This unbearable thing was romping all over the campus, destroying the lives of college students, and leaving a trail of bloodshed behind it. Every so often, a few strong and courageous men (or either complete retards) would venture out of the safety of their “nest” to try to tame the beast that had been devouring or souls. No matter the strategy, whether it was dinner and a movie, a hike to the monogram, a day at the park, or even t he exchanging of the sacred “promise rings”, the end result was usually the same. The guy…I mean valiant hero, would be innocently sitting in their car with her…I mean IT, thinking that everything was going fine. I mean hey, they were doing the ring thing now. How much better could it get? When all of the sudden it would look at him with the evilest look a guy has ever known, and would suck the soul right out of him. She did this by saying….”I think we should just be friends”, or “how about we take a break”, or the worst of them all, “I feel like God is calling us in different directions and because Clayton….. I mean God is in fact God we should listen to Him”. Many a good man has perished trying to conquer the beast of Liberty Mountain and a lot more are being baited and trapped as we speak.
Now my friends, it is time for us to take action against this force that is rising up against the mighty men of Liberty. We must hold strong to the core beliefs that were instilled in us by our fathers who have conquered the beast so many times before us (I mean the reason you are here is from your father “conquering”). No more shall we be pushed around by schemes of the devil. No more shall we sit by and watch our friends be cast in to the fiery pit of destruction. No more shall we let its beautiful eyes, perfect figure, and sensual ways brainwash our minds. No more shall we suffer through hours of awkward outings with guys who want to look cool in front of felici….ummm IT. We must be strong, and we must fight this beast together.
Today I leave you with a little message from my dear friend Timothy. 11 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. 12 And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
